I am headed to my parents house for a couple of days. It isn't the healthiest place for me to hang out...but knowing this I should be prepared. I have been telling myself to just relax and enjoying my mothers nattering and my father's silent presence. I've been telling myself it isn't necessary to be careful what I say, what I eat, and how I act. I should just enjoy that my parents are still alive and that I live close enough to see them sometimes, but not so close for it to be a burden. Just be myself...

However even at 53 I am still their "child". And all of those childlike behaviours and thoughts are circulating through me even as I write this. So I am bolstering myself up mentally for this visit. Preparing scenarios in my mind for the inevitable chiding I will get for any number of small transgressions. And I know it is likely I will overeat and then feel terrible when I get home. So I am also going to stop on the way down and take a long walk in a park not far from them. The dogs will enjoy it and I will clear my mind and burn a few calories in preparation. At least the food is good and not just empty calories!

Get healthier...get a dog

I wonder if I should be worried. My mother has advised me to get out of the house more on a social basis. To spend more time around people. She worries that I am going to become "a crazy dog lady" as I enjoy the company of my dogs too much. (I wonder what her excuse is?!)

The dogs do take up a lot of my time, and they do offer wonderful, non judgemental love. They also help me stay healthier by requiring excercise....lots of it. I have a whippet, Dinah. Think sleek,lean and fit...I think I want to be my dog. I have a miniature poodle, Zeta. Also lean and fit. However the hair isn't something I would want. Too high maintenance. Okay maybe I am spending too much time with the dogs.

But really... they do help me physically and mentally. Dinah needs some hard running every day. And Zeta stays lean and fit by chasing her. If only I could run like that I wouldn't have any weight issues! So in order to get her running in every day I take them to a place 1/2 mile away that is well fenced. We walk there and back (most days) and while there I throw the ball a million times. I throw like a girl, so it takes a lot of effort....at least with my right arm. Somedays we even go twice if the weather is nice. If I could learn to throw left handed, both sides of my upper body would get a workout.

Having something to take care of is good for me. Not only does it get me off the couch and out of the house, but I read somewhere that people with dogs live longer. I know it is easier living with my dogs than it was my ex. He is a whole nother story.

So I will take my chances with craziness, and continue spending lots of time with my 2 girls. They don't think I'm crazy...well maybe they do but they don't care, that the important part.

Age doesn't always sneak up

It amazes me how much my energy level has changed since my late 40's. It didn't really sneak up gradually. It hit me this past year like a a bale of hay tossed out of the loft. Came out of nowhere... knocked the wind out of me...what happened??

I know lots of folks older than me that seem to have endless energy. But then most of them aren't single and in charge of everything that goes on in their household....and I don't know what their home looks like, and maybe they are putting on a facade about how they really feel. Am I supposed to let the housework go when I don't have the oompf to run the vacumn after working all day. And should I grin madly and answer "GREAT" when asked how I am after mowing the lawn after working all day. Am I supposed to feel exhausted when just living a regular schedual? Is feeling this way inevitable? I'm not going to accept that it is.

I have discovered something that does seem to help me. Eating less sugar and white flour. Not only do I sleep better and wake more refreshed, but I don't seem to hit that proverbial wall every day about 3. Oh I still have to pace myself...it isn't the "cure" but it is making a difference.

Having more energy is the first step to feeling better and trimming down. Now if I can solve the puzzle of why I sabatoge myself eating things that I know will affect me later in the day or tomorrow. I think I am going to have to did deeper to get to the bottom of this one.

Thanks to a Friend from Far away

Today an email came through on a list I belong to. It was an invite/request for help,from a someone I have met and consider a friend. She lives in Maine and I live in Oregon, so sitting across the kitchen table, or in a rocker on the porch isn't possible. But this invitation for help in being accoutable to getting healthier in the coming year is important. So distance be damned...we'll help each other via email and positive thinking!

I am new at writing, but it is something I have wanted to do for a long time. So maybe there will be more than one benefit to this new blog.

Thanks Friend.